VCDK Vibe-Coding Detox Klinic · Est. 2026
Accepting new projects Alicante · Amsterdam · Remote
▮ The operator

A specialist
for the
cleanup.

I read PHP codebases that AI-assisted development has damaged, and I write them back into shape. The methodology is not a framework or a platform. It is reading, then measuring, then writing, in that order, and not shipping anything I cannot explain to the team in prose.

Free 30-minute triage call · I reply within one working day
Languages
PHP, JavaScript and DevOps since 1996. Python since 2012. Laravel since 2017.
Availability
Replies within 24h on weekdays. CET working hours.
Code quality
Every engagement ships with a test suite that previously did not exist.

Stance

I treat the codebase as evidence. The repository tells me what the team believed when they wrote each line; my job is to read it before I change it, and to leave it in a state the next reader can trust.

Method

Read first, measure second, write third. Each change is small enough to revert and large enough to matter. Nothing ships that I cannot explain to the team in prose; nothing ships without tests if behaviour changed.

Practice

Solo operator. No outsourced delivery, no junior bench, no slide-stage hand-off to someone else after the proposal. The person on the triage call is the person on the keyboard, every line.

§ I — Methodology

Four phases. Linear.

The engagement is auditable end to end. Every phase produces an artefact you keep, regardless of whether the engagement continues.

Read

The first hours go into reading the repository, not changing it. The artefact is a written map: where the value lives, where the damage lives, which files are load-bearing, and which directories the team should stop touching until the cleanup lands.

Measure

Test coverage, cyclomatic complexity, file churn, dependency depth. Where they help, mutation-testing scores on the modules I plan to touch. Numbers grounded in your repository on a given commit, not abstract benchmarks.

Diagnose

A written diagnosis in prose. Structural debt, the parts attributable to AI-assisted work, the parts that were already wrong before, and a prioritised remediation plan. Yours to act on with or without me on the repair.

Repair

Hands on the keyboard. Tests written before behaviour changes. Each change reviewable on its own. No big-bang refactor, no overnight rewrite, no "trust me, it works now" without a green CI run on a deterministic suite.

§ II — Principles

What I will and will not do.

  1. I will read the code before I change it; write the missing tests before I change behaviour; document every non-obvious decision the engagement makes; and leave hand-over notes the team can act on after I am gone.
  2. I will not let an LLM write production code without a human review, ship behaviour I cannot explain in prose, recommend a rewrite when a repair is honest, or take an engagement I cannot run inside the time and budget I quoted.
  3. I do not vibe. I read the code. I write the missing tests. I delete the files that should never have been generated. The engagement leaves the team with the methodology, not just the patch.
§ III — The operator

Jeroen Derks.

Senior PHP engineer. Zend & (ex-)CISSP certified. Based in Alicante, Spain, working CET hours. The engagement and the operator are one person by design — what you read on the triage call is what reaches your repository.

About the cleanup service →
§ IV — Frequently asked questions

Frequently asked questions

  1. Are you available for permanent or full-time work?

    No. The model is engagements, not employment — hourly, by the project, or by the day. That keeps the methodology sharp and the operator independent. If you need a hire, I am happy to recommend people who fit.

  2. Do you work with other engineers on the engagement?

    Sometimes alongside your team. Never with a sub-contracted bench. Every line of code shipped on the engagement is written or reviewed by the named operator. There is no junior tier and no proposal-stage hand-off.

  3. Where are you based?

    Alicante, Spain, working CET hours. Engagements run remote by default; on-site is available for the diagnosis phase by arrangement, billed at cost for travel.

  4. How fast can you start?

    The triage call is usually inside the first working week of you asking. The diagnosis follows once we agree scope. Repair work starts once you have read the diagnosis and decided what is in scope — never before.

▮ Request a triage call

Start with a conversation.

Thirty minutes, no fee, no pitch deck. Bring the repository or a description of it. You leave with at least one next move you can run yourself, whether the engagement continues or not.

or visit PHPfreelance.co.uk

© MMXXVI · VCDK / PHPfreelancer · Jeroen Derks Engagements run remote · Records kept locally v1.94.5823